The Last Tie to an Ex

Annie Lane
Thu, 19 Mar 2026 21:00:00 -0700
Lifestyle

Dear Annie: Three months ago, I ended a two-year relationship with my boyfriend. We lived together in my apartment. The breakup was painful and overdue. I've blocked his number and have no interest in reopening that chapter.

The problem is that his mail is still arriving here. Not just catalogs, but things that look important — a bank envelope, something from the DMV, even what appeared to be a medical bill. I feel uneasy throwing them away, but reaching out to him is absolutely off the table. I just want to be done.

What is my obligation here? I don't want to screw him over by throwing out important documents, but I also resent having to play secretary. — Done for Good
Updated: Fri Mar 20, 2026

Dear Annie: Three months ago, I ended a two-year relationship with my boyfriend. We lived together in my apartment. The breakup was painful and overdue. I've blocked his number and have no interest in reopening that chapter.

The problem is that his mail is still arriving here. Not just catalogs, but things that look important — a bank envelope, something from the DMV, even what appeared to be a medical bill. I feel uneasy throwing them away, but reaching out to him is absolutely off the table. I just want to be done.

What is my obligation here? I don't want to screw him over by throwing out important documents, but I also resent having to play secretary. — Done for Good

Dear Done for Good: You can keep your conscience clear without reopening the door.

Don't throw the mail away, but don't contact him either. Simply write "Return to Sender — Not at This Address" on each unopened envelope and put it back in the mailbox. The postal service will do the rest.

It is his responsibility to update his address, not yours.

Dear Annie: I'm an 81-year-old man in a good marriage and in decent physical condition.

My problem is that I don't sleep well. I know it's mostly in my head. I worry about the smallest things you can imagine, especially at bedtime when all is quiet — an unreturned phone call or a late 1099, etc. I know it's crazy to worry about these things, but they keep me awake while normal people just doze off. When I truly don't have any issues, I sleep much better.

Part of my problem is that, as a retiree, I don't have much on my mind and I'm pretty bored. When I was working, this wasn't much of an issue. Physically, I'm fairly active, but that's only five or six hours of exercise a week. I take prescription sleep meds, but I don't want to keep increasing my dosage. — Tired of Being Tired

Dear Tired: You're not "crazy." When work disappears, our minds often look for something to fill the void, and small worries can grow loud in the dark.

Boredom feeds anxiety, and in retirement, you're even more likely to fall into that trap. Think about what interests you, whether that's volunteering, mentoring, working part time or taking a class. Giving your mind a purposeful focus during the day will prevent you from spiraling at night.

Before bed, write tomorrow's to-do list and tell yourself, "This is for the morning."

And as far as medication goes, speak with your doctor. Sometimes the solution isn't taking more meds, but taking the right one.