A Big Birthday With an Even Bigger Price Tag

Annie Lane
Wed, 25 Mar 2026 21:00:00 -0700
Lifestyle

Dear Annie: My younger sister is turning 30 and has planned a birthday dinner at a trendy rooftop restaurant where the tasting menu is $165 per person — not including drinks, tax or tip. She also wants us to split the cost of a professional photographer "to capture the moment for all of us."

I want to celebrate, and the dinner does sound fun. But I just had to replace my transmission and pay an almost $2,000 dental bill. I'm in penny-pinching mode, and I think a home-cooked dinner or a less-trendy restaurant would be just as fun.

I told my sister I might skip the dinner and take her out separately, and she looked genuinely sad. She didn't get angry, but I could see her feelings were hurt, and now I feel guilty. Should I suck it up for my sister? — Loving but Limited
Updated: Thu Mar 26, 2026

Dear Annie: My younger sister is turning 30 and has planned a birthday dinner at a trendy rooftop restaurant where the tasting menu is $165 per person — not including drinks, tax or tip. She also wants us to split the cost of a professional photographer "to capture the moment for all of us."

I want to celebrate, and the dinner does sound fun. But I just had to replace my transmission and pay an almost $2,000 dental bill. I'm in penny-pinching mode, and I think a home-cooked dinner or a less-trendy restaurant would be just as fun.

I told my sister I might skip the dinner and take her out separately, and she looked genuinely sad. She didn't get angry, but I could see her feelings were hurt, and now I feel guilty. Should I suck it up for my sister? — Loving but Limited

Dear Loving but Limited: It comes down to what this dinner truly costs you. A nearly $200 evening is significant, but if you can comfortably afford it and simply would prefer not to, stretching for your sister's 30th may be a generous gesture you won't regret.

But if attending would mean real financial strain, then the wiser choice is to bow out and celebrate her another way. Milestones are meant to bring joy, not anxiety.

Your sister will be disappointed at first, but responsible adults understand that car repairs and medical bills outweigh rooftop ambiance and curated photos.

Dear Annie: I've worked at the same small marketing firm for nine years. Last month, my manager hired his 26-year-old niece as a "consultant." She has no experience, works remotely from Denver and somehow makes $18,000 more than I do (she volunteered this information while we were on a call).

I trained her on our systems. She calls me to ask how to open shared files. Meanwhile, I'm handling three major accounts and haven't had a raise in two years.

I like my job. I like my clients. I even like my boss. But I definitely feel unappreciated. Do I confront this directly or start polishing my resume? — Loyal but Tired

Dear Loyal but Tired: Before you polish your resume, have a salary review with your boss. Outline your contributions, your results and the market rate for your role. Ask plainly what measurable steps would lead to a raise — and when.

He might bump your pay up. Or he might be vague, dismissive or noncommittal — an answer in and of itself.

Loyalty is admirable, but self-respect is essential.