When Your Child Becomes the Landlord

Annie Lane
Fri, 20 Mar 2026 21:00:00 -0700
Lifestyle

Dear Annie: I live with my almost-30-year-old daughter. She acquired our place through a lawsuit settlement.

She talks to and treats me like I'm a child and tries to control my life. She often reminds me: "This is my place. I run things." I could go on and on, but the bottom line is that she constantly makes me feel uneasy in what's supposed to be my home.

Now she's planning to move to Texas. I don't want to leave where we live now, but I also don't want to move with her. I can't handle her demands anymore, yet I can't afford to live on my own. Rent is too high.
Updated: Sat Mar 21, 2026

Dear Annie: I live with my almost-30-year-old daughter. She acquired our place through a lawsuit settlement.

She talks to and treats me like I'm a child and tries to control my life. She often reminds me: "This is my place. I run things." I could go on and on, but the bottom line is that she constantly makes me feel uneasy in what's supposed to be my home.

Now she's planning to move to Texas. I don't want to leave where we live now, but I also don't want to move with her. I can't handle her demands anymore, yet I can't afford to live on my own. Rent is too high.

What should I do? — Living on Eggshells

Dear Living on Eggshells: Your daughter may own the home, but that doesn't give her free rein to dictate your choices or disrespect you.

Before making any decisions, have an honest discussion about what her move to Texas would mean for you. What would she expect if you went with her, and on what timeline? Clarity here will help you make the most informed decision.

At the same time, research your other options — senior housing, income-based apartments, shared living situations or even renting a room in someone else's home. It may be hard to afford a place of your own, but the ability to live freely and comfortably in your space is priceless.

Dear Annie: Seven years ago, my husband and I purchased a condo near a popular tourist spot. We've gotten several requests from friends and family to come visit. We enjoy hosting, and it has worked out except with one person.

Every time he comes to stay, he'll ask, "You don't have almond milk?!" or "You don't have chia seeds?!" or insert some other item. He says this as if we don't have indoor plumbing. I try to have a variety of beverages and snacks available in addition to being considerate of people's general likes and dislikes.

How can I respond? I'm very tempted to tell him we are completely committed and unable to host another visit, but he would probably eventually hear that we've been able to accommodate other people. Suggestions? — Hosting a Hothead

Dear Hosting a Hothead: Most guests arrive with gratitude. A few arrive with a grocery list.

You've been incredibly generous to open your home, but it's not a hotel. You're not required to stock specialty items on demand. The next time he exclaims, "You don't have almond milk?!" smile and say, "We keep the basics, but feel free to bring anything specific you like," and leave it there.

If he keeps pressing, it's perfectly reasonable to host him less often. Hospitality is a gift, not a given.